My husband rolls his eyes at me. Often.
I can't go anywhere and not be conversational with just about anybody. It's not hard for me to talk to people. I love finding common interests with others and just strike up conversations. Yes. That probably does warrant 'eye rolling'. Is being an open book and telling people about yourself, whatever they want to know, a bad thing or a good thing? Mr. Filipino is a very private person. How we've made it almost 20 years married without needing some sort of counseling is beyond me. Of course, we probably DO need counseling and just ignore it away.
Being an open book gets me into trouble sometimes. Obviously. With Mr. Filipino walking around people to avoid having to get close to them emotionally, I dive right into the middle. I think
part of it is the way we were raised. Ben was raised in a very structured culture in the Philippines (Thailand & New Guinea also). He was up before dawn doing chores. I was raised on a farm with cows and kids and free flowing grass and creeks and lots and LOTS of get togethers with family and friends. There was always a fish fry going on somewhere on the weekend....usually down by the river. There would be lots of people and food and music and you couldn't just sit by the wayside or people would wonder why you weren't participating. So we'd get up and 'buck dance' with my Papaw. And it was normal - and still is.
I also wear my heart on my sleeve. There is no second guessing me...what you see is what you get. And I don't mind that. I have had a VERY
colorful life. I had some very VERY bad times in my early 20's. I won't go into it all but I CAN tell you that I am not the person I was then. I learned so much from my past and I think once I actually mentally and emotionally grew up and then gave my life over to Christ, all of my joy started pouring out into others in a positive instead of negative way. I can't tell you how completely blessed I feel because of that. I realized when I became a Christian that my
spiritual gift is SERVING. That's why it's so easy for me to open up to people. If there is something that I've been through that can help someone else in any way then I'm doing what God wants me to do. Sometimes people don't want to hear what I have to say and that's fine. I DO know when I can open up and when I can't. Anyway, that's who I am and why in the world people wouldn't want to be exactly who they are is beyond me? There are a LOT of people that feel entirely different though. Yikes.
I don't necessarily think that being an open book or a closed door are so opposite that it can't work in a relationship.
Again, me and Mr. Filipino. So he doesn't share his experiences, opinions, etc. and I'm totally transparent, free from guile and easy going. He's private about people and feelings but I totally LOVE being with people and sharing. I mean I don't totally spill everything of course. :) And I DO enjoy my private time. I LOOOOVE being alone. It's the peace I think. I have three boys and a husband. Being the only girl warrants a little peace and quiet every now and then right? It's a blessing to be able to do either. I could sit all day long and SOAK by myself and just have a conversation with God. That's when I hear Him best.
Mr. Filipino isn't afraid to open up when he needs or wants to but some people are so private they are like locked doors. Mostly distrusting of others and suspicious. I was reading an article about opening up and here are some ways to learn how to do just that.
Learn new things.
The more you know, the more likely it is you'll be able to relate to someone on some level. You can try watching the news and keeping up with current events. Again, the more you know, the more connections you can make.
Monitor non-verbal cues.
When you're talking to someone, instead of having closed body language with your arms folded and your body angled away from the person you're talking to, try to smile and listen carefully, look them in the eye and use friendly body language. It makes you appear more open.
Ignore your fear.
You may be terrified of connecting with other people and sharing the real you. Most people feel this way on some level. You should push your fear aside and don't worry about what others might think. Be you. You'll be surprised how much people will accept you.
Staying in the moment, refraining from judgements, being specific and taking your time are some other way to learn to be more open with people. To read this article about unlocking ways to be more open go
here. You might find it easier than you thought it would be.
Rebel Brown says, "I’m an open book. I’ll share anything and everything about myself when I meet people whom I believe will benefit from my experiences. My truth isn’t something that makes me feel ashamed, scared or in any way diminished. In fact – because of my truth and my healing — I know I am destined to help others heal too."
To that I say Amen.
If I can help someone by opening myself up to my past trials and tribulations then I'll keep on keepin on.
On a less serious note, I love Madea. Do you know her? She. Is. Funnnyyyyy.
Enjoy
this!
And have a great weekend!
Tracie
Ben is still trudging along at work. He has started building something almost every weekend out in the garage. He really loves building adirondak chairs and cornhole boards. He's really good at it and he's making a little extra money! making a little extra money!
